8 - 10 Apples
Little bit of Cinnamon
½ - ¾ Stick of Butter
2 T Sugar
Put your flour and Crisco in a bowl, and work together with your fingers until it's the consistency of corn meal. Make a little hole in the center of the bowl, and start pouring in a little bit of milk at a time, mixing with a fork, until the dough starts to hold together but isn't sticky (though if you go too far, add a little more flour).
Divide the dough into 2 halves (one for the bottom of the crust, one for the top), and set one half aside. Throw some flour on your counter, and put one half of the dough down. With a rolling pin (or clean, empty wine bottle), roll out the dough, starting at the center, and rolling out to the top, bottom, left, right, repeat, to the top, bottom, left, right, so you wind up with a nice, even ¼ inch thick round(ish) dough.
Place this into your greased pie plate, lightly pressing down around the bottom edges.
Peel, core, and somewhat thinly slice your apples, and layer into your pie crust. You'll want them to round up out of the crust. Next, cut your butter into little pats, and place on top of the apples. Now lightly dust the top with cinnamon, and finally sprinkle your sugar over that.
Take the other half of dough, throw some flour down, and roll out like you did the bottom of the crust - except you'll want to get this thinner. Not like paper thin, but more like ⅛ inch thick.
Now it's time to put the top of the pie crust on - loosely fold over the dough you just rolled out, and place over one half of the pie plate. Fold out the rest of the dough, so you've now covered your pie plate. (Don't worry about all the excess dough - we've got plans for it.) With a fork, press along the edges of the pie plate so as to seal the pie up nicely. With a sharp knife, go around the edge of the pie plate and cut free the excess dough.
Now you can either cut 4 or five slits in the top of the crust (to let it vent) and put it directly in the oven, or you can get a little bit fancy. Take your excess dough, and with a sharp knife, cut out some kind of decoration, like an oak leaf, or an apple, or little stars. (Or a kitten, or an emu, or anything else your cute girlfriend might come up with. Have fun with it, just remember that you're dealing with dough and food coloring here.) Put your creation on a piece of waxed paper, and with some food coloring and the side of a toothpick, color your creation. With your fingers, brush a little bit of milk on the center of your pie and put down your decoration (the milk acts like glue), cut a few slits around it, and you're ready to go.
Put your pie in the oven, and after 10 minutes, turn the over down to 350°. Bake for another 45 minutes, checking after 30 minutes. You'll know the pie is done when the crust is golden brown, and the edges of the crust are browning (but not burnt).
While your pie is cooking, you should really take the excess dough you have, grumble it into a ball, and roll it out to about ¼ inch thick. Spread soft margarine or butter across the surface, sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar, and roll it up lengthwise. Cut into 1 inch segments, arrange in a greased pan, and cook for about 15 - 20 minutes. If you've already got guests over, chances are, these will be all eaten up before your pie is done.
You can serve your pie with vanilla ice cream, but honestly, you don't really need to.